How to Be a Great Mentor

If you are successful in your career, you probably have been lucky to have a teacher or a supervisor who played the role of a mentor and made a difference. They wore many hats, becoming your guide, your friend, your advocate, and your role model.

Being a mentor is being a trusted advisor whose journey inspires others. It’s about making yourself available to support someone in need, just like your mentor did for you.

There are some qualities that every great mentor shares:

• A desire to help others grow
• Respect for younger people
• Empathy
• Ability to see opportunities
• And, active listening skills

If you think you have these qualities and want to be a mentor, you must understand the responsibilities associated with it.

• Setting Clear Goals And Objectives: The primary responsibility you have as a mentor is to clarify the goals and objectives of the program to your mentee. The mentee often has a general vision of what they want, but they look up to you to help them understand and accomplish their goals. The main reason to establish a clear objective at the beginning of the program is to measure the progress being made during the course of the relationship.

• Scheduling Meetings: Another responsibility of a mentor is to schedule meetings with their mentee. Decide the time, place, and duration of each session. Be punctual to the meetings; make sure you are uninterrupted during the mentoring sessions. It’s also important to give your undivided attention to the mentee. Do not let any thought, phone calls, or emails distract you.

• Teaching Through Examples: Remember, you are a role model for your mentee. They will learn from your life lessons. Don’t shy away from sharing your personal experience, your mistakes, and what you have learned from those mistakes. Inspire your mentee with your journey from failure to success.

• Guiding, Not Giving Solutions: As a mentor, your responsibility is to help your mentee find his/her own solutions. You can guide them, but cannot expect them to follow your footstep. Everyone has their unique way to deal with problems. Let your mentee find their way. Allow them to take responsibility for their career growth.

Now that you know your responsibilities as a mentor, here are some tips on how to be a great mentor.

1. Listening Is The Key

The secret sauce that makes a relationship successful is communication. And to make communication effective, you need to listen.

Questioning is a great approach when it comes to communication in a mentoring relationship. Ask interactive questions to your mentee and let them talk. Listen carefully when they are talking to you.

Unlike reading, writing, and talking, we are not taught how to listen. We spend a lot of time in hearing; when only 25-50% of this time we actually listen. Most of the time our mind is somewhere else when the opposite person is talking.

If you do not listen to your mentee carefully, you will not understand their problems. Your questions or your solutions will be irrelevant. And eventually, the relationship will fall apart.

That’s why active listening is very important in mentoring. If you want to be a great mentor, be attentive. Do not think about what to say next when your mentee is talking. Try to follow their non-verbal cues like hand gestures and make as much eye contact as possible. This will help you understand what your mentee is trying to say, even when they are not saying it.

2. Build Mutual Trust with Your Mentee

One of the crucial elements in mentoring relationships is trust. If your mentee doesn’t trust you, they will become protective of their feelings.

Though the early part of the relationship can be a little intimidating, it is the best time to build trust.

The first step towards building trust is respecting your mentee’s time. Do not cancel or postpone your mentoring sessions frequently. You may have something more important to do, but your mentee invests their time to prepare for these meetings. Try to attend it every time without fail. Plan your meetings and other work accordingly.

The next step to building trust is, do not break your promises. One of the biggest promises that a mentor makes to a mentee is respecting the mentee’s confidentiality. Never break that promise. Your mentee will be vulnerable to you only when they know that their feelings are safe with you.

Do not promise anything to your mentee that you cannot keep. Once the trust is broken, it’s impossible to repair.

3. Do Not Hold Back Yourself From Giving Honest Feedback

Certainly, it’s important to stay positive in a mentoring relationship. But that should not hold you back from providing honest feedback. Giving feedback on weaknesses is as important as encouraging on the strengths. If you do not tell your mentee what they are doing wrong, they will never grow personally and professionally. 

That said, there is always a positive way to give negative feedback.

When you have a feeling of mutual trust with your mentee, providing honest feedback becomes easier; they understand that you both are working on developing their career.

When giving constructive feedback, you must acknowledge the mentee’s accomplishments. Keep the feedback simple and offer help to develop solutions to any problem that your mentee is encountering.

Also Read:

Mentoring Expectations from a Mentor

What Skills Do You Need to Be a Mentor?

7 Ways to Create a Successful Group Mentoring Program